What do I do now?

It's been a while since I posted, but that's mainly been a time thing I'm afraid. It got to a point where I was doing my contracted 35 hours/week at work, plus 10 hours overtime, plus 16 hours unpaid, and it was just all getting a bit silly. I also spent a lot of time worrying and stressing about what I should do when my tenancy ended on the house at the end of June.

My housemates were all moving back home with their parents to save money, and I didn't know whether it would be best for me to do the same, or to try and find somewhere on my own. I stressed about this for months, until I forced myself to make a snap decision, and now I'm back home living with my Mum. This is fine, apart from the fact that my Mum lives in the middle of nowhere, so it's very difficult or very expensive to go anywhere - apart from that it's all good, and I'm grateful to my parents for letting me move back. (There's something good about there always being food in the cupboards and money for heating bills!)

The upshot of that however, is the fact that I had to quit my job, and I am unemployed once more. You might all think I'm mad in this day and age, to lose a perfectly good job when the chances are I'm going to struggle to find another one. To be honest, the job was dire - not only in the way that it was a crappy retail job, when that's not what I want to do in the long-term, as I can deal with that to some extent - but to the point where I was so tired, and so stressed it was becoming detrimental to my health. I'm not a crier, but I burst into tears at work several times in the last few weeks, and made silly mistakes that were gradually getting more serious in nature because I was stressed, and quitting is probably one of the best decisions I have made.

My idea now, is to volunteer to get the skills that most of the travel or charity jobs seem to think I'm lacking, and to build up a network of contacts. I'll hopefully get a part-time retail job to keep me going at the same time, and that should be that. Except of course, that it's never as easy as that. Even retail is struggling at the moment; there are no jobs in places that I've asked round where I live, and I'm being rejected from pretty much everything else.


I have made a spreadsheet of jobs that I'm applying for, and have applied conditional formatting depending on the result of the application; at the minute, it's all red. Red for rejection. I've had some good feedback from some places, suggesting that I'm only a couple of points away from getting an interview, and it's not my skills or experience that are stopping me, but rather the fact that I'm not quite focused in the specific area that they're wanting, but in a way that's worse.

That's not something I can change. I'm not sure what else I can do; I have five different CVs depending on what I'm applying for (some with my degree on, some not); I have written millions of cover letters; I have spent hours on the internet and walking around the local area looking for jobs, and I'm still struggling. Fortunately I've been unemployed for less than a week so far, and hopefully I'll find something soon. I just hope I don't get to the point where I regret leaving my last job.

I also plan to broaden my horizons a bit, and get loads of experience doing as much as possible. I'm determined to be really proactive; keep writing on here, and up my social media presence a bit more (I've had some amazing things happen through Twitter!) I'm going to be blogging much more now, and hopefully I'll have a bit more to blog about if I can make life more exciting!

Other than that, I'm still dreaming of travelling the world. If anyone can recommend any good travelling books to add to my repertoire, they will be very gratefully received (I seem to have a lot of time on my hands at the moment). I'm getting fit again, running 7km several times a week, and I have bitten the bullet and have  dyed the ends of my hair pink! I will be spending a lot of time walking my dog, so expect lots of pictures of hills, and in the meantime wish me luck!!

Wanted: talented graduate who will work full-time in the centre of London for FREE

The tenancy runs out on my house in Leeds at the end of June, and so it's time to start thinking about what I'm going to be doing next. It's a thought that, quite honestly terrifies me. I think I know (vaguely) what I want to do with the rest of my life, but getting there isn't going to be easy.

I've been working towards the goal of working within the global aspect of charity work since I was at University (bearing in mind that I started Uni almost 5 years ago, that's quite a long time now), and yet I'm still nowhere near. In fact, I seem to be going backwards.

Since June last year I've been working at a small cafe/newsagents, and in that time I've been promoted to supervisor and am now pretty much running the whole unit. I am however, bored out of my mind and ready to move on. I work at least 50 hours/week EVERY week, and am paid a pittance for what I do; I rarely make it from month to month without struggling, and running out of money in the last week or so, and I'm by no means extravagant. I always said that I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and unfulfilled, but when I'm poor and miserable you know it's time for something to change.

                                     

Don't get me wrong, I love living where I do now; my house and housemates are amazing, it feels like home and it's in a great location, but I feel like I'm missing out on life. We're all in the same boat, and can rarely afford to do more than the bare minimum. We don't have time to socialise together very often, and when we do it's always on a very tight budget. We can't afford to all go out for tea or bowling, and so are often limited to a cheap bottle of wine or two and a DVD. Whilst this is fun, I feel like I've lived like a student for long enough, and surely by now I should be earning some proper money.

This however, is easier said than done. I'm willing to forgo a high salary for job satisfaction, but getting the job that I want is nigh on impossible. I'm broadening my interests, and am willing to do anything that's even remotely related to the career that I want, and yet I still have no luck. I'm willing to work for next to nothing, and I'm a hard worker; I'll go above and beyond the call of duty to make sure that I do the best job possible. I'm willing to move ANYWHERE in the country, or even the world, make any kind of sacrifice possible - but what I can absolutely not afford to do is to work for free. Unfortunately, it seems that's what most employers want. Looking at entry-level or graduate positions, a lot of them are unpaid internships or voluntary opportunities, that 5 or 10 years ago would have been paid and easily-doable.

                                         

Surely I'm not asking for much? I know times are tough, and I'm not expecting to be paid a fortune. I'm happy to forgo a social life and luxuries if I'm in a job I enjoy and I can see I can progress somewhere, but I still need to live. That's not unreasonable, is it? I'm paid slightly more than minimum-wage at the moment, and as I said, struggle for money.

 I pay all my bills on time, and usually have enough food in the house, but that's it. No luxuries, no new clothes, no trips out, nothing. What am I supposed to do when these companies want me to work for free? Who is going to pay my rent, my bills, pay for my food or my travel costs? Most of these jobs are in London; are there some secret, free-rent, free-food places hidden away that only interns know about, or are these jobs only targeted at people who have wealthy families; whose parents can afford to pay for such things whilst they work for free.

If there were bursaries available that would pay my basic costs, I would happily work for free, but it's quite literally not possible. I cannot do it. Take these voluntary opportunities at Comic Relief for example:

http://www.comicrelief.com/jobs/volunteer

I would love to be involved in any aspect of Comic Relief (preferably working with the individual aid organisations nation/world-wide) but their offices are in Vauxhall, London. Even if I lived in the middle of nowhere and commuted for 4 hours a day, I still couldn't do that for free. There's always the option of working full-time alongside it of course, but if I can't live now whilst working 50 hours/week, what hope do I have in London on far fewer?

So what? I've just got to give up on my career because I can't afford to live on the bottom rung? Of course not; I'm not going to give up but quite honestly I'm running out of options. I'm trying to be broad-minded, but I won't be able to save any money as it stands at the moment, and I honestly don't know what other options I have.

I know I'm not the only one in such a situation, and that's what makes me angry. There are so many people of my generation that are struggling to get the experience and contacts they need, because they cannot afford to volunteer or intern. Something needs to be done about it, whether it be assistance from the government, or the organisations themselves. We're not asking for much - just enough to live on would be nice.

I know times are tough at the moment, but we're the future. What happens in 20 years time when there's a huge skill-gap across generations, as most people have been forced to work in monotonous, unskilled retail jobs? Somebody throw us a rope and give us a chance? We can do it, I promise.

When I grow up I want to be....

It's the question you get asked most as a child, whether it's at school, by parents or well-meaning family and friends. As a small child, your answer is most likely a footballer, a pilot or maybe a fire engine; or a vet, a nurse or a teacher.

For years I wanted to be a showjumper, inspired by my five years of riding lessons. Despite the fact that I only had lessons for an hour a week (which deteriorated to once every two weeks as prices rose), I was certain that I'd be the next superstar and spent hours dreaming about it. This then graduated to a desire - than a serious ambition - to be a doctor, inspired by a long and crazy obsession with the long-running BBC drama 'Casualty.' This ended when choosing my A Level options, upon realising that I was dreadful at science and maths, and I just didn't really enjoy it.

I then had no idea what I wanted to do until I was half-way through University, when, motivated by my successful climb of Kilimanjaro and three years doing charity fundraising, I decided I wanted to work organising charity challenges, or at least in fundraising. This was my first serious career that I actually worked towards and tried genuinely to get experience in. I organised street collections, volunteered for various charities and managed to get a placement with DfID. Despite this however, alongside a three month (unpaid) internship with the NSPCC, I still can't get the job I want. I'm stuck doing a job that I was doing when I was fifteen, and left dreaming of what could have been.

After my internship, I went to several interviews for jobs that I'd love, and was told each time that I did really well and in any other circumstances they'd love to hire me. Unfortunately, people were now being forced to apply below their stations and I was competing against people with years of experience in the sector. I just didn't cut the mustard. I was told to volunteer for a while to gain even more experience and contacts (it really is who you know), but most internships and volunteering are full-time, or more time than I can give. I don't know who they think is going to pay my rent while I work for free, but it certainly won't be me. 

I know I'm not the only one; my peers are either struggling to find employment, being made redundant or are in rubbish retail jobs like me. So what happened to our dreams? Whether it be the crazy, childish ones or the serious ones, why are we unable to follow them anymore? I have friends that dream of being policemen, art therapists, designers, pilots, midwifes, vets, chefs, biologists and more and yet none of them are able to achieve their goals. Although they have relevant experience and qualifications, everyone I know is stuck working in retail, in minimum-wage roles, unemployed or due to be made redundant. I know a girl who was made redundant three weeks into a new job, and a boy who was made redundant after over a year. Films from Disney upwards make you believe you can be whatever you want to be as long as you work hard enough and are a nice person, and this just blatantly isn't true anymore.

So with a generation unable to follow our dreams, how are we to stay motivated? With thousands of young people stuck in jobs they hate, or find unfulfilling, how are they to succeed? Retail tends to be monotonous, doing the same thing day in, day out. What happens when people just stop caring about their work; will customer service standards drop? Will this cause even more high-street businesses to go into administration? Or will more people take the option to be unemployed rather than work in an environment they don't like?

How do we combat the social aspects of this? It's not just career-oriented dreams that people are giving up; earning minimum wage, people are struggling to live from paycheck to paycheck. Your twenties is supposed to be full of fun, getting drunk, travelling the world and making silly mistakes. My housemates and I can't even afford to go out for tea together, let alone go on holiday or go out on a regular basis. Stuck in the house when you're not at work, eating noodles or couscous for the third night a row, knowing that all you've got to look forward to is another day at work doing the same thing that you did the day before, it's hard not to fall into a kind of depression that's hard to snap out of. It's difficult to see how things will improve in the future, or how to get yourself out of the situation. It's not that you're unhappy - you love your house and your housemates, it's just that you don't feel like you have a life anymore, or at least not a life that you'd choose.

With the UK rating having just been downgraded to AA for the first time in history, our economy is getting worse and worse, and I'm worried about what's going to happen next. Although we're not quite in the same situation as Spain, with 60% of young people unemployed, we have an entire generation that's unskilled and unprepared for the future. We're going to be getting to all the hurdles in life much later than everyone else - I have no idea when I'm going to be able to get on the property ladder (can't even envisage renting on my own let alone affording a mortgage in the near future), and god knows when people are going to able to afford to get married or start a family. We're not going to be able to afford to start a pension, and so are going to be working much later than previous generations. We are the first generation of the economic crisis, and are living under a government woefully unprepared and with no knowledge of how to help us.

Despite this, I hold out hope that the economy will improve, and that one day we'll all be able to get the career that we want. In the meantime, I'll keep slogging away, and spend my evenings dreaming of travelling the world. Companies, when you're hiring, spare a thought for us lot and maybe throw someone a lifeline. You won't regret it.